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WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELiATJIVtJ PtJSTTTONS OF 
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^ ALPHABETICAL LIST DF ^ 

-ELmes* Edition of Plays. 

-*-JT'vSS/S-+- 

FIFTEEN CENTS EACH UNLESS OTHERWISE MARKED. 


NO. 


U. F. 


NO. 


M. F. 


DRAMAS 

2 A Desperate Game. 3 2 

164 After Ten Years. 7 5 

39 A Life’s Revenge. 7 6 

43 Arrah de Baugh.7 5 

100 Aurora Floyd. 7 2 

125 Auld Robin Gray 25c.13 8 

89 Beauty of Lyons.11 2 

113 Bill Detrick. 7 3 

226 Brae, the Poor House Girl.... 4 4 

14 Brigands of Calabria... 6 1 

160 Conn; or, Love’s Victory.11 3 

161 Dora. 5 2 

60 Driven to the Wall.10 3 

152 Driven from Home. 7 4 

173 East Lynne. 8 7 

143 Emigrant’s Daughter. 8 3 

176 Factory Girl. 6 3 

162 Fielding Manor. 9 6 

255 Gertie's Vindication. 3 3 

117 Hal Hazard, 25c.10 3 

207 Heroic Dutchman of ’76. 8 3 

52 Henry Granden.11 8 

76 11 o\v He Did It. 3 2 

141 Hidden Treasures. 4 2 

26 Hunter of the Alps. 9 4 

191 Hidden Hand.15 7 

194 Lights and Shadows of the 

Great Rebellion, 25c.10 5 

3 Lady of Lyons.12 5 

9 Lady Audley’s Secret.6 4 

261 Lost in London.6 4 

46 Man and Wife.12 7 

227 Maud’s Peril. 5 3 

211 Midnight Mistake. 6 2 

251 Millie, the Quadroon. 4 1 

163 Miriam’s Crime. 5 2 

91 Michael Erie. 8 3 

36 Miller of Derwent Water. 5 2 

34 Mistletoe Bough. 7 3 

229 Mountebanks (The). 6 2 

223 Old Honesty. 5 2 

81 Old Phil’s Birthday. 5 3 

85 Outcast’s Wife.12 3 

83 Out on the World. 5 4 

1% Oath Bound. 6 2 

29 Painter of Ghent. 5 3 

18 Poacher’s Doom. 8 3 

10 Reverses.12 6 

45 Rock Allen. 5 3 

79 Spy of Atlanta, 25c.14 3 

144 Thekla. 9 4 

67 The False Friend. 6 1 

97 The Fatal Blow. 7 1 

119 The Forty-Niners.10 4 

242 The Dutch Recruit 2 c c.14 3 

92 The Gentleman in Black. 9 4 

112 The New Magdalen.. 8 3 

71 The Reward of Crime. 5 3 


105 Through Snow and Sunshine 6 4 

m--- 


7 The Vow of the Ornani.7 1 

201 Ticket of Leave Man. 9 3 

193 Toodles. 7 2 

200 Uncle Tom’s Cabin.15 7 

121 Will-o’-the-Wisp. 9 4 

41 Won at Last. 7 3 

192 Zion.7 4 

TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 

73 At Last.7 1 

75 Adrift. 5 4 

187 Aunt Dinah’s Pledge. 6 3 

254 Dot; the Miner’s Daughter... 9 5 

202 Drunkard [The].13 5 

185 Drunkards Warning. 6 3 

189 Drunkard’s Doom.15 6 

181 Fifteen Years of a Drunk¬ 
ard’s Life..'..13 4 

183 Fruits of the Wine Cup. 6 3 

104 Lost.6 2 

146 Our Awful Aunt.4 4 

53 Out in the Streets. 6 4 

51 Rescued.5 3 

59 Saved. 2 3 

102 Turn of the Tide. 7 4 

63 Three Glasses a Day. 4 2 

62 Ten Nights in a Bar-Room... 7 3 

58 Wrecked.9 3 

COMEDIES. 

168 A Pleasure Trip.7 3 

136 A Legal Holiday. 5 3 

124 An Afflicted Family.7 5 

257 (’aught in the Act.7 3 

248 Captured. 6 4 

178 Caste. 5 3 

199 Home .4 3 

174 Love’s Labor Not Lost. 3 3 

149 New Years in N. Y.7 6 

37 Not So Bad After All.6 5 

237 Not Such a Fool as He Looks 6 3 

126 Our Daughters. 8 6 

114 Passions.8 4 

219 Rags and Bottles. 4 1 

239 Scale with Sharps and Flats.. 3 2 

221 Solon Shingle.14 2 

87 The Biter Bit. 3 2 

249 $2,000 Reward. 2 0 

TRAGEDIES. 

16 The* Serf.6 3 

FARCES AND COMEDIETTAS. 

129 Aar-u-ag-oos.2 1 

132 Actor and Servant. 1 1 

12 A Capital Match. 3 2 

166 ATexan Mother-in-Law. 4 6 

30 A Day Well Spent. 7 5 

169 A Regular Fix... 2 4 

80 Alarmingly Suspicious. 4 3 

78 An Awful Criminal.3 3 


r6 



















































































































TWO BKB HOYS, 


A Musical and Farcial Comedy, 

IN FOUR ACTS. 


-BY- 

. • (/ . 

George Harris. 


- TO WHICH IS ADDED - 

A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES—CAST OF THE CHARACTERS— 
ENTRANCES AND EXITS—RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE 

PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 


x- 




Entered according to act of Congress in the year 1884, by 
FRANK A. CORDON and GEORGE HARRIS, 
in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C. 


0 —*- 


-CLYDE, OHIO:- 

AMES’ PUBLISHING CO. 









TWO BAD BOYS . 


__ x _ 

.^^3147 

CAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Henry Peck {always up to mischief) .. 

Johnny Smith {his chum) . 

Hiram Peck, Esq. {the principal victim) . 

Solomon Isaacs {proprietor of the little grocery on the corner) . 

Rev. Whang-doodle Baxter {our pastor and mutual friend) . 

Officer Ryan {one of the bravest) . 

Ah Sin {a celestial laundry owner) . 

Miss Lillian Aubrey {teacher of elocution) . 

Mrs. Smith {who later becomes Mrs . Peck , No. 2) . 

Betty (who dosen't mind sorrow in spite of reverses) . 

Costumes—Modern, but extravagant. 

Time of playing—About 2 hours. 



i 

. . STAGE DIRECTIONS. / 

* 

means Right; l.» Left; r. h., Right Hand; l. h., Left Hand; c., Centre; s. e,j 
[2d e.,] Second Entrance; u. e., Upper Entrance; m. d., Middle Door; f., the Flat 
P.F.# Door in Flat; r. c.. Right of Centre; l.c., Left of Centre. 

Jle K* C* C. !>• C# L« 

The reader is supposed to be npon the stage facing the audience. 











\ 

l . 

Two Bad Boys. 

4 

ACT I. 

SCENE I. —c. d. chamber in third or fourth grooves—table and cover , 
books, etc., on it, l. 2 e., chair each side and r. Betty discovered 
with duster—noise outside, R. 


Betty. You had better clear out! If your father can’t make you 
mind, I’ll take you in hand myself. ( laxigh outside) I don’t believe 
there is another boy in the country half as bad as that Henry, and 
his father has got no more control over him than a kitten has! 

{dusts chair 


Enter, Mr. Peck, l. 


Mr, Beck. Busy as usual, I see, Betty. 

Betty. Yes, sir. I am a little late though, this morning, but it’s 
not my fault. 

Mr. P. Not your fault? Well, whose fault is it then? 

Betty. It is Henry’s sir; he has been tormenting me so that I 
could not work. 

Mr. P. Henry’s, eh! Well, never mind, Betty, I think it will 
soon end. Where is Henry ? 

Betty. He went out just now. 

Mr. P . See if you can lind him and send him to me. 

Betty. Yes, sir, I will. ( exit c. d. 

Mr. P. Two years ago Mrs. P. departed this life, and I have had 
a hard struggle ever since; worry has nearly killed me. The cares 
of this household are too much tor me, and I have decided to take 
another partner—a very estimable widow lady by the name of Smith. 
I have never met the lady as yet, but I expect to have the pleasure 
this afternoon and I hope and trust that Mrs. Smith will be able to 
take Henry in hand and administer to him the requisite amount of 
lickings he deserves. 

Enter, Henry, c. d., and striking a tragic attitude. 

Henry. I am here. You have sent for me; if you do not want 
me I will retire to iny wigwam. 

Mr. P. If you ain’t careful you will retire to the woodshed in 
company with your father and a shingle. 



TWO BAD BOYS. 


4 


Henry. Cor-rect, gov.—I cave! 

Mr. P. You what ? 

Henry. I cave; in other words, I knuckle and succumb to the 
shingle. 

Mr. P. Enough of this slang, sir; now listen to me. I am going 
to get married again, to a widow lady by the name of Smith. Mrs. 
Smith will call here to-day and I want you to behave yourself. By- 
the-bye, Henry, Mrs. Smith has got a little boy, and I don’t want 
you to play any of your tricks on him. 

Henry. O. K., dad, I won’t! 

Enter , Betty, c. d., with card. 

Betty. There is a lady and escort down stairs, who wishes to see 
you; here is her card. 

Mr. P. (takes card—reads ) Mrs. Arabella Smith! 

Henry. What a name for a dog collar! 

Mr. P. Henery! Betty, invite Mrs. Smith and her escort up 
here. 

Betty. Yes, sir! (standing outside of c. d., and speaking) Step 
this way, please. 


Enter, Mrs. Smith and Johnny. 

Mrs. Smith . This is Mr. Peck, I believe. 

Mr. P. Yes, madam, my name is Peck. 

Mrs. S. You see I received your letter and concluded I would 
call to-day, as I wrote you. 


During these speeches, Henry has stolen some of Johnny’s candy. 

Business between the two boys. 

Johnny, (to Mrs. Smith) Ma, he’s got my candy! 

Mrs. S. Yever mind, son, I will get you some more. 

Johnny. Ma, wipe my nose ! (business of iciping his nose 

Mr. P. Well, Mrs. Smith, I don’t doubt in the least but what we 
will arrive at a matrimonial understanding. 

(candy business repeated and kick Johnny 

Johnny. Ma, he’s got all my candy. 

Mrs. S. Yever mind, Johnny, don’t cry! Come, let ma fix you 
up nice. (arranges his hair, wipes his nose etc. 

Johnny. What are we going to do—have our pictures taken ? 

Mrs. S. Yo, I’m going to introduce you to that gentleman. 

(he spies Mr. Peck’s bald head 

Johnny. Oh, ma, look at his head! he ain’t got any hair, has he? 

(business 

Mrs. S. Hush, you mustn’t talk so! Mr. Peck lost his hair 
through sickness. 

Johnny. Why don’t he buy a horses tail and put it on his head 
like you do ? 

Mrs. S. Johnny! Mr. Peck, this is your future son. Johnnv 
this is your future papa. (business of shaking hands ’ 

Johnny. Oh, ma, look at his head! he ain’t got any hair, has he? 

Mrs. S. Hush! you mustn’t talk so! 


TWO BAD BOYS. 6 

9 

Mr. P. Now, Mrs. Smith, just step up stairs, the first door to the 
right, and make yourself at home. I will see you after a while. 

Mrs. S. {starting to go—to Johnny) You stay here until mother 
comes back. ( exit l. u. e. — Mr. Peck exits r. 

Henry torments Johnny, steals his candy, pulls his hair, wipes his 
nose — Johnny tries to put beans up Henry’s nose, and chases him 
around. 

Enter, Mr. Peck, r. 

Mr. P. What’s the trouble here? 

Henry. He says, “Ma, wipe my nose!” 

Johnny. Well, can’t I stuff beans up Henry’s nose? 

Enter, Mrs. Smith, l. u. e. 

Mr. P. Now, Henry, you take Johnny out in the garden and 
show him around. 

Henry* Come on, Johnny, I’ll take you over and introduce you 
to the grocery man on the corner. 

{start to go, when Johnny turns back and says 
Johnny. Ma, give me a penny to buy some candy. 

Mrs. Smith gives penny—at the same time Hevry puts deck of cards 
in Mr. Peck’s coat pocket—boys exit, r. 

Mr. P. Take a chair, Mrs Smith, {business with chairs close to¬ 
gether) Now, Mrs. Smith, what are your views on religion? 

Mrs. S. Well, really, I don’t know. I am a church member my* 
self and believe in the doctrine preached by the pastor, 
ilfr. P. My views exactly. 

Mrs. S. I don’t believe in a vain display of -worldly goods. 

Mr. P. My views exactly. 

Mrs. S. And I detest card-playing and gambling of any kind. 
Mr. P. My views exactly. 

Mrs. S. I am glad that our views upon this subject are mutual. 
Mr. P. So am I; and by-the-bye, Mrs. Smith, since our dear 
friend, the Reverend Mr. Baxter, has been so kind to arrange every¬ 
thing for us regarding our marriage, it only remains for us to decide 
upon a day. Now I would suggest that we name to-morrow, and 
also let it be private. 

Mrs. S. My views exactly. 

Enter, Henry and Johnny, take in the situation, motion to each 
other and place fire cracker under Mrs. Smith’s chuir , and hide 
r. and e. of c. ». 

Mr. P. Since our views meet, I can only say that we will make 
all the arrangements as soon as possible. 

This speech to be lengthened or shortened according to time of fire 
cracker—at the explosion both jump up, and Mrs. Smith acts as 
though she was fainting. Mr. Peck places her in chair—the two 
boys peep in. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, your pa thinks a good deal of my ma, don’t 
he? • 


e 


TWO BAD BOYS. 

♦ , 
Henry. Oh, yes, a clear case! {bell rings) Hello! another visitor! 
say, Johnny, we will have to vacate or else we’ll catch rats. 

Johnny. Well, let us go and catch rats and give ’em to the grocery 
man. 

Henry. You won’t give ’em to anybody if ever you catch rats 
from the old man. {exit R. 


Enter , Betty, l. 

Betty. The Keverend Mr. Baxter to see you. 

Mr. P. Tell Mr. Baxter to step in here. 

Betty. {ushers in same as before) Step inside, please! 

Enter , Mr. Baxter, bows and shakes hands with Mr. Peck and Mrs. 

Smith. 

Mr. P. Allow me, Brother Baxter, to thank you for all you 
have done in regards to Mrs. Smith and myself. 

Mr. Baxter. Don’t mention it, Brother Peck, I have long had the 
welfare at heart, of both yourself and Mrs. Smith, and I trust that 
you have not been deceived in each other. 

Mrs. S. On the contrary, I have found Mr. Peck an excellent 

man, and all my.views have been- 

Mr. P. My views exactly. 

Mr. Baxter. I am glad to hear this, but, Brother Peck and Sister 
Smith, I have another matter which I feel it my duty to attend to 
and that is in regards to your children; a public school is hardly the 
place to teach them, owing to the many bad habits which they may 
learn by coming in contact w ith children w r hose parents have wan¬ 
dered from the paths of truth and righteousness. 

Mr. P. Quite right, Brother Baxter, quite right! 

Mrs. S. My views exactly! 

Mr. Baxter. What I would suggest, is to have a good moral- 
minded person to teach them at home. I have brought such a per¬ 
son here to-day, a young lady of rare ability and an excellent elocu¬ 
tionist. I have known the young lady’s parents and can vouch for 
her. 

Mr. P. I think your system of teaching the boys an excellent 
one, and will be pleased to meet the young lady and let her take 
charge of them at once. What do you think of the matter, my dear 
Mrs. Smith. . 

Mrs. S. My views exactly. 

Mr. Baxter. Then with your permission, I will introduce the 
young lady to you both. 

Goes to c. d., and ushers in Miss Lillian Aubrey. Henry and 

Johnny peep in after her. 

—Mrs. Smith—my friend, Miss Aubrey, {they bow) Mr. Peck, a 
worthy member of our church. 

They bow — Mr. Peck takes handkerchief from coat pocket and pulls 
cards out—everybody looks horrified—business — Johnny and Hen¬ 
ry look in. 

Johnny . The old man’s dropt his prayer book. 

Henry. My views exactly. 


(quick change 



TWO BAD BOYS. 


7 


SCENE II.—Street. 

Enter, Solomon Isaacs, l. 1 e. 

Solomon. E-e-h! I’m a son-of-a gun ef I efer hat so much drouble 
in all my life! That Henry Peck’s a regular mess-sa-ma-schin-na, 
so hell up me gracious! I mofed here last year from Louseyana. I 
opened a grocery sthore on the corner opposite Mr. Peck’s house, 
and his boy Henry vas alvays blayin’dricks on me. He comes ofer 
and puds up signs dot ain’t so; vone time he pud up a sign in front 
of my sthore, “Kids cleaned—twenty-live cents a pair.” E-e-h! 
I’m a sucker if all the vimon didn’t bring dere dirty babies for me 
to vash. Last veek he pud up a sign in a box of oranges in front of 
the sthore—“take vone.” I lost four dozen oranges before I found 
it oud. I bet fordy cents vhen I go pack I lint a sign up—“closed 
on account of det in the familybud I von’t sthand it. I vill go to 
Mr. Peck. E-e-h! Pm a son-of-a-gun, dot’s vot I am! ( exit r. 

Enter, Reverend Baxter and Miss Aubrey, l. 1 e. 

Mr. Baxter. I sincerely trust, Miss Aubrey, that you will over¬ 
look the little affair which happened at Mr. Peck’s house, at the time 
I introduced you. 

Miss Aubrey. You refer, I daresay, to tbe deck of cards which 
Mr. Peck let fall from his coat pocket? 

Mr. Baxter. The same; but still I have always found Mr. Peck a 
good, straightforward man, and I hope that this will not alter your 
plans’ to take charge of the children. 

Miss Aubrey. Kot in the least! but I must confess I was very 
much shocked at such a sight, after what you had told me about the 
gentleman. 

Mr. Baxter. I daresay, but yet he appeared very much astonished 
at finding the cards in his pocket. 

Miss Aubrey. He did, indeed; but you have told me that his boy 
is always playing tricks upon him, and I have been thinking that 
perhaps he may have placed them in his father’s pocket for sport. 

Mr. Baxter. Quite likely; but let us go, we can resume our con¬ 
versation on the way. I have got to prepare for Mr. Peck’s wedding, 
which takes place to-night. (.exit r. 

SCENE III. — Street—full stage—set house, r. 3 e., with sign , 
“Grocery Store ”— boxes, etc. outside. 

Enter, Henry and Johnny. 

Henry. Come on, Johnny, here’s the store! now I’m going to in¬ 
troduce you to the proprietor. He’s a funny chap, I tell you! One 
great trouble about him, he’s like a potato, he’s got no heart, he 
won’t give you nuthin’, so if you want anything you must do the 

same as I do. __ 

Johnny. What’s that, Henry ? 

Henry. Why take it and say nuthin’. 

Johnny. Say, that’s stealing, ain’t it, Henry ? I don’t want to 

get arrested. , , 

Henry. You won’t get arrested, he will only charge it up to dad. 


6 TWO BAD BOYS. 

johnny. Oh, well, then I’m going to have a picnic! ( starts for 
store—finds door locked) Say, Henry, there’s nobody home! 

Henry. I guess he ain’t got back from market. Let’s have some 
fun and change his signs. 

Johnny. All right! 

Business of changing signs, etc., ad lib, until Henry spies groceryman 
coming as Jonnhy puts sign —“ What are the wild leaves saying,” 
and repeats it to Henry. 

< Henry. Scoot, Johnny, scoot! here comes the groceryman! 

{both exit 

Enter, Solomon, sees signs changed. 

Sol. E-e-h! vot I told you? Der son-of-a-gun’s been here—vait 
till I see his fadher. E-e-h ! von’t I make it hot for him ? You bet 
yer life! Hos-du-ker-zain! Hos-du-ker-zon-da! Excuse me, I’m 
grazy! 

Enter , Henry and Johnny. 

Henry. Hello, Solomon! where yer been? 

Sol. Vere I been? dot’s my pisiness! (sees Johnny) Say, Henry, 
vere did you get der monkey? 

Johnny. Say, Henry, stag his nibs ! 

Sol. Vhat! you stab me in der ribs? E-e-h! not for Joseph! 
Henry. Yo, you don’t catch on! 

Sol. Idon’dvhat? 

Johnny. Can’t you tumble? 

Sol. Vhat? 

Johnny. Crush yer hat! 

Sol. I told you vhat of you don’d leaf der signs alone, I bed you 
a hell-of-dollar I catch on you and make yer tumble and crush yer 
hat! E-e-h ! you son-of-a-gun ! 

{unlocks store door—business ad. lib. until Solomon is in store 
Henry. Say, Johnny, let’s have some fun with him. 

Johnny. All right; what’ll we do? 

Henry. Say, Johnny, let’s tell everybody that comes here that he 
is hard of hearing, and they must call out loud or else he won’t hear 
them. 

Johnny. All right! {looks off r.) Say, here comes some one 
now. 

Enter, Betty, r. 

Henry. Where are you going, Betty? 

Betty. After some groceries. What’s the matter, ain’t the grocer 
in • 

Johnny. He’s down in the cellar watering the milk: he told 
Henry and me if anybody came that we was to call him, didn’t he 
Henry? 9 

Henry. Yes, Johnny and I’ll call him. Come on, Johnny! 

They knock and hollo, then run off l. — Solomon comes out and is going 
to strike icith broom-sees Betty— business and exit . 

Enter , Henry and Johnny. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, he was going to hit Betty, wasn’t he? He 
thought he had us. I’m going to see if he has hurt Betty. 


TWO BAD BOYS. 9 

Peeps in key hole —Solomon comes around house — busines trying to 

catch boys until they exit, L. 

Sol. Dher sucker! I fixed’em clat time! E-e-h! {exit, R. 
Enter, Henry and Johnny, l. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, why didn’t you tell me he was behind me. 
If I hadn’t seen him in time he’d a hit me sure. 

Henry. I did tell yer; I hollered at yer till I was hoarse. Hush I 
here comes dad! 

Johnny. Let’s play the joke on him! 

Henry. You bet, now you’ll see some fun! 

Enter, Mr. Peck, l. 

—Holloa, dad, where yer going? 

Mr. F. Down town on some business. 

Johnny. ( aside to Henry) Say, Henry, how are we going to get 
him to go in the store ? 

Henry. I’ll fix it! You must stick to everything I say, do you 
hear? 

Johnny. All right! 

Henry. Say, dad, I don’t want to raise trouble, but you ought to 
stick up for your rights. 

Mr. F. Stick up for my rights! Why, I do! 

Henry. Well, Solomon here, says you’re an old blowliead, and 
the next time that you come in the store and tell him about the great 
things you did when you was in the army, he was going to pour a 
barrell "of brine over you. 

Mr. P. Did he say that about me ? 

Johnny. Yes, he said more too. He said he didn’t see what my 
mother wanted to marry such an old camel as you was for. 

Mr. F. What’s that—an old camel? 

Henry. That ain’t all, dad; the worst of it is, he said you was a 
big coward, that he had a good mind too hit you the next time he 
seen you, to see if there was any light in you. 

Mr. F. Hit me—him ? Condemn his old Jew carcass! I’ll show 
him! Where is he, the darned old side-show? 

Johnny. He’s down in the cellar stirring up chalk and water. 
Do you want him ? 

Mr. F. Tell him to come out here. I’ll teach him who’s a coward! 
Henry. That’s right, dad, be a man! Johnny and I will stick by 
you. You stand here and we’ll call him out. 

Boys call “Solomon!”—business ad. lib., until Peck and Solomon are 
in store—great fight—breaking of crockery^- Betty rushes out and 
cries “Police! Police /” exit l. —boys on and off ad. lib. Enter, 
Policeman, rushes in store—is thrown out f falls —sees Johnny — 
grabs him, exit r., hastily—scene changes. 

SCENE IV.—Street in first grooves . 

Enter, Mr. Peck, r., all broke up * 

Mr. P. I think I convinced that idiotic grocer that I am next to 
Sullivan when I get riled. This is a nice condition for a man to be 


Id tWO BAD BOYS. 

in who is going to get married to-night. I must try to get in the 
house by way of the back door, without being seeu. I guess I had 
better be getting off this street before any one sees me. There’s no 
in sight—here goes! , ( starts to go 

Enter , Miss Aubrey, l., street suit—they meet face to face — business. 

— (aside ) I hope she won’t recognize me. I’ll play the beggar on 
her. (aloud) Please help a poor blind man ? 

Miss Aub. Why, if it isn’t Mr. Peck! (Peck groans) Why, what 
has happened? You look as if you had been in a railroad smash- 
up ! 

Mr. P. I—I—attempted to stop a team of runaway horses, but 
they proved too much for me! 

Miss Aub. Really, that is too bail. I am so sorry. 

Mr. P. I don’t doubt it, but you ain’t half as sorry as I am! 

Miss Aub. You certainly deserve great credit for your bravery. 
Mr. P. Don’t mention it, Miss Aubrey, and I hope you will keep 
this matter a secret. 1 am not one of those kind who like to have 
their brave acts told openly. 

Miss Aub. I admire your modesty, and since you wish it, I shall 
say nothing of this matter to anyone. 

Mr. P. Thanks! You commence your duties in the morning, I 
believe. 

Miss Aub. Yes, sir, I will be at your house in the morning and 
take charge of the boys. 

Mr. P. Henry and myself very seldom agree, but I think you 
will be able to get along with him without any trouble, and as for 
Johnny, I think he’s a very good boy, free from all such tricks as 
Henry studies up. 

Miss Aub. I am not the least afraid of Henry and I not getting 
along amiacably, and I think you are correct in your judgment of 
your future step-son; but I must be going as I have promised the 
Reverend Mr. Baxter to accompany him to your house this evening, 
to attend your wedding. 

Mr. P. Ah, you are going to attend, eh? 

Miss Aub. Yes, sir. 

Mr. P. Remember, not a word about this little affair of mine. 
Miss Aub. Oh, no, ( laughs ) don’t be afraid! I shall say nothing 
about it. (exit, r. 1 e. 

Mr. P. A verv nice lady ! but I must make myself scarce or I 
will be apt to meet some one who will not believe my story about 
the run-away team. (exit l. 1 e. 

Enter, Police with Johnny and Henry — business ad. lib., until they 
trip the Police and run off—scene changes. 

SCENE V.—Kitchen in third grooves—table l .—two chairs—large 
cupboard c.— plates, cups, saucers, jam,pie, bottles, etc., on shelves. 

Enter , Johnny and Henry, r. u. e, 

Johnny. Say, Henry, we’re thoroughbreds, ain’t we? 

Henry* You bet l we gave that chap the slip as clean as a whistle. 


11 


TWO BAD BOYS. 

Johnny . If he comes here, Henry, let’s put the old man on him. 
(knock heard) There he is now! what’ll we do? 

Henry. Let us holler, “come in,” and then hide. 

(they both call out and then hide behind cupboard 

Enter , Kev. Baxter and Miss Aubrey —as they enter, boys peep out. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, it ain’t him! 

Henry . I see it ain’t! (coming down) Hello, parson! 

Johnny . How-do! 

Henry . We didn’t think it was you! 

Johnny . No, we thought it was some other rooster! 

(minister shocked 

Mr, Baxter. I fear, Miss Aubrey, that you will have a hard time 
with these boys. 

Miss Aub. I guess we will get along all right. What do you 
think, Henry? 

Henry . Be you the lady that’s going to teach Johnny and I ? 

Miss Aub. Yes, your father has engaged me, and I shall com¬ 
mence to-morrow, and I hope to And you good attentive scholars. 

Johnny. We’re good boys, ain’t we, Henry? but we have lots of 
fun sometimes. 

Miss Aub. You can have all the fun you want, only you must be 
attentive during your lessons. 

Enter , Mr. Peck, Mrs. Smith and Betty, r. 1 e., the first two all 

made up for the wedding. 

Mr. P. Ah, Brother Baxter, you are on time, I see! 

Mr. Baxter. Oh, yes, on matters concerning the welfare and hap¬ 
piness of any of my flock, it is my duty to be punctual. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, I wonder how the olcf man came out in the 
fight. 

Henry. We’ll have to find out from Solomon. 

Mr. Baxter. Well, come, let us proceed to the parsonage. 

Mrs. S. Yes, yes! 

Henry. Say, dad, can’t we go ? 

Mr. P. No, sir. 

Mrs. S. You and Johnny stay here and play, but you must not 
touch anything in the cupboard. 

Mr. Peck and Mrs. Smith are in c .—business of talking, etc., during 

the followiug. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, let’s play a trick on ’em! * 

Henry. All O. K. I I didn’t think they would let us go, so I fixed 
up two signs for ’em, let’s put ’em on! 

They get signs from cupboard , and during the next speeches pin them on 
Mr. Peck’s and Mrs. Smith’s back. 

Miss Aub. Can’t the boys go with us? 

Mr. P. No, Miss Aubrey, I am afraid to take them with us; they 
might play some trick on us. 

Miss Aub . I think I can vouch for them. 

Mrs. S . Mr. Peck is right. You don’t know them, Miss Aubrey, 
they are as full of tricks as— 



IS 


TWO BAD BOYS. 

Mr. P. A Kentucky mule! t . 

Mr. Baxter. Brother! ( business) But come, I will lead with 
the ladies; you follow. (exit, it. u. e. 

Signs on Mr. Peck’s and Mrs. Smith’s backs, “To be given away!" 
“To be sold!” Business ad. lib.—the boys upsetting cupboard , 
eating pie, fighting etc. 

TIenry. (looks r.) Say, Johnny, here comes dad, on a regular 
trot, i’ll bet he’s discovered the signs! Follow me and we’ll have 
more fun! ( exit l. u. e. 

Enter, Mr. Peck, with signs in his hand. 

Mr. P. Pll fix’em, condemn’em! (calling) Henry! Johnny! 
Gone out, eh? Well, I’ll find ’em—I run on ahead of the others to 
attend to ’em, and I’ll do it! (looks at signs and reads them) Ain’t 
that nice to put on people’s backs? and look at this room! 

Enter, Henry and Johnny, l., dressed as Indians — come down, l. 

—Oh, Lord! I’m a goner! Injuns! I’ll speak to them! Ugh! 
Henry. Ugh! 

Johnny. Much big, ugh! eat fat man! 

Mr. P. Oh, he means me! but I mustn’t give in* I’ll brave it 
out! What tribe do you belong to? 

Henry. Ugh! big tribe! 

Mr. P. Big tribe—what, the Blackfeet ? 

Business Henry and Johnny ad. lib., as Peck names different tribes, 

Apache, Sioux, Pawnee, etc. 

—Well, what do you want? 

Henry. Ugh ! pale face give red man fire-water. 

Johnny. Ugh, fire-water, much big heap—get bilin’! 

Mr. P. I will give you food, but no fire-water! 

Johnny. White man sorry, no give segar-store Ingin fire-water. 
Mr. P. You cannot scare me so you need not threaten. I ain’t 
afraid of half a dozen of you. I have been through the war! 

Henry, (aside) Say, Johnny, he ain’t afraid of six of us; let’s 
give it to him! ’ 

Johnny. All right! 


They yell and flourish up hatchet— Mr. Peck runs— Solomon comes 
on, scare him— Betty same— Mr. Baxter, Police, etc.—quick 

work till Mrs. Smith comes on — Johnny runs at her _ she grabs 

him, puts him across her knee —Miss Aubrey, c., laughing _Peck 

and Baxter, r., praying— Betty and Solomon up behind cup¬ 
board. 1 

END OF ACT I. 


0 


TWO BAD BOYS . 


J3 


ACT II. 

SCEJVE I.—Kitchen in third grooves, supposed to he Chinese laundry. 
Wash tub, r. and l., also tables, clothes line , e£c., marking pot and 
brush and pieces oj pasteboard on each table. Ah Sin discovered 
at work, ironing and singing— introduce some song. 

Ah Sin. Melican man bling muchee heap workee for Chinaman; 
say do shirtee, collee, cuffee, much nicee, all samee. Melican woman 
muchee nice, me likee velly good; me mallee Ilishee woman all 
samee, muchee work but no good; get dlunkee, fight Chinaman, 
blake nose, pullee hair, say me snidee, no goodee! Dammee all 
samee, you Sabee! ( sings 

Enter, Betty, with bundle , R. 

Betty. Hello, John! 

Ah Sin. Hol-lee! 

Betty. Here’s some washing for you from Mr. Peck. 

Ah Sin. Mr. Pleck? All lightee, makee done Fliday! 

Betty. All right, Friday, sure! 

Ah Sin. Mr Pleck mallee last nightee ? 

Betty. Yes! 

Ah Sin. You no mallee? 

Betty. Me? no, I haven’t even got a beau, John! 

Ah Sin. Don’t callee me John, callee me Cholley—no likee John, 
me mashee, likee Cholley ! 

Betty. Charley ! All right, I’ll call you Charley. 

Ah Sin. Me likee you—you likee me? 

Betty. Ofcourseldo! 

Ah Sin. Me mallee you, run laundley, you washee, me iron cuf¬ 
fee, collee, all samee—sabee? 

Betty. What—marry you! you old rat-tailed, almond-eyed wash¬ 
house, if you talk to me like that, I’ll pull every hair out of your 
head. ( exit h. 

Ah Sin. Punchee, pullee hair, muchee samee like Ilshee woman. 

(sings 

Enter, Henry and Johnny, r. 

Henry. Hello, John! 

Ah Sin. Hal-lee, Henly! who’s dlat? w 

Henry. That’s my chum, my new brother! 

Ah Sin. Your chumee, hal-lee! 

Johnny. Hal-lee yourself—how’s rats ? (aside) Say, Henry, let’s 
get John out and run this wash-house ourselves and have some fun. 
” Henry. O. K.! how will we get him out? 

Johnny. Let’s tell him that the grocery man wants to see him. 

Henry. Say, John, Solomon Isaacs wants to see you right away. 

Ah Sin. Solomee Islaacs wantee me? 

Johnny. Can’t you say Solomon Isaacs, you darned fool! 

Ah Sin. Foolee! what foolee ? 

Johnny. A fool is a man who puts his clothes in bed and lays 
over the back of a chair: but no fooling, Solomon wants to see you. 

Ah Sin. Me workee now—no go, loosee customle! 


u 


TWO BAD BOYS. 


Henry. No, you won’t, we’ll stay here till you come back, and if 
anybody brings any washing we’ll tell them to wait till you come 
back. 

Ah Sin. Stopee here, mind laundly, all samee? 

Johnny. Yes, all samee! 

Ah Sin. All light, me go! (exit B. 

Henry. Say, Johnny, 1 know where there is some of his clothes. 
We’ll put them on and play Chinaman! 

Johnny. And we’ll get some money! 

(Henry gets clothes from r. 2 e. — they put them on and sing etc • 

Enter , Solomon, with a bundle, n. 

Sol. I’m a son-of-a-gun if the Chinaman ain’t got 'his brodher I 
I’ll bet fordy cents he’ll have der old family here in a veek! E-c-h, 
hos-du-ker, zain mes-er-mer-shin-er, der sucker! dey’ll ruin dher 
bishness. Say, I vhant some vhashing done. 

Henry. Olee-ker-wolee-kee. 

Johnny. Sknin-me-dunkee di do, all samee! 

Sol. Hear dher sucker talk Chinese—here’s some vhashing! 

Henry. Wishee, washee, shirtee, collee! 

Johnny. Wishee, washee head, too, all samee! 

Sol. E-e-h, he vhants to vash my heat! I vhant dher clothes 
Saturday. 

Johnny. O. K.! 

They open bundle and pull shirt in half—business—each put half in a 
tub—make out ticket ad. lib.—exit Solomon, r. 

Enter, Rev. Baxter, with bundle, r. 


Mr. Baxter. Members of the celestial tribe, I have a small quan¬ 
tity of soiled linen, which I wish you to submerge ’neath the watery 
element by placing them in yonder recepticle and returned to me as 
soon as possible. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, I think the Reverend Whangdoodle Baxter 
is drunk. 

Henry . Let’s talk Chinese to him! Olee ker wollee ke ollee kpr 
rocks. 5 A 

Johnny. Ollee ker wollee ke, ollee ker socks. 

Mr. Baxter. Yes^tliere is one pair of socks and one shirt 

# (same business with ticket and washing 


Enter, Solomon and Ah Sin, who are angry at being fooled-business 
ad. lib—the boys put Ah Sin in soap-suds—scene changes . 


SCENE II.—Street in first grooves. 

Enter , Henry and Johnny, r. 1 e. 

Henry. We kinder washed Ah Sin, didn’t we? 
Johnny. Say, Henry, here comes your dad! 

Enter, Mr. Peck, l. 1 e. 

Henry. Well, dad, how do you feel? 


TWO BAD BOYS. 


15 


Mr. B. I can’t say that I feel very good to-day. 

Johnny. You don’t look very well; you look thin. 

Henry. Say, dad, did it ever occur to you what a great benefit 
you would get by joining some order ? 

Mr. P. I have often thought of the matter, Henry, and think I 
will join some lodge. 

Johnny . Oh, it’s a great thing! I know a man who belonged to 
one and every time he was sick he got fifteen dollars, and one day he 
fell off a house and got killed, and then he got one hundred dollars. 
You ought to join. 

Mr. P. I think I shall. I will get some one to propose me in 
some lodge and become a member. 

Henry. Johnny and I belong to a secret benevolent order, and if 
you like, we’ll propose you at our meeting to-night. 

Mr. P. What order do you boys belong to ? 

Johnny. The ancient order of Hoodlums—it’s a great order. 

Mr. P. Well, I’ll think it over and let you know at supper to¬ 
night ; but I must go to the post-office now, I’ll let you know to-night, 

( exit , r. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, we ain’t got and lodge room. What will we 
do if the old man wants to join. 

Henry. I tell you what 'we’ll do! we’ll coax Miss Aubrey to let 
us have the school room up stairs, and we’ll get Solomon and all the 
people to be members and put dad through. 

Johnny. We’ll have lots of fun, won’t we? 

Henry. I tell you another thing—we’ll get McCrackin’s big goat 
for him to ride. 

Johnny. That big fellow? 

Henry. Yes. 

Johnny. Say, Henry, that goat will buck the suspenders off your 
dad. 

Henry. No, he won’t! Come on, and we’ll get everything ready! 

{exit l. 1 e.— scene changes 

SCENE III.—Kitchen or plain chamber in third grooves—table r. 2 e., 

and chair with books, bell, etc., on table, third or fourth, l. and c. 

Enter, Miss Atjbrev and Mrs. Smith, l. 

Mrs. S. A good idea, Miss Aubrey; family picnics are always 
such pleasant affairs. 

Miss Aub. They are, indeed, but we have so many different novel¬ 
ties on our programme to carry out, that will make it doubly a 
family picnic. 

Mrs. S. Why, you excite my curiosity, Miss Aubrey, and from 
the way you talk, I think you have been planning this affair some 
time. 

3Iiss Aub. I will be candid, I have. You see I discovered in 
Betty an old schoolmate, and with her assistance, I think the picnic 
will be satisfactory to everybody and be a success. Besides, I have 
taught the boys some very pretty recitations, for you know elocution 
is my most principal study. 

Mrs. S. Very true; I will speak to Mr. Peck about it, and in the 
meantime, you can make whatever arrangements you see fit. 


16 


TWO BAD BOYS. 


Enter, Betty, l. 


Betty. The Reverend Mr. Baxter wishes to see you down stairs. 

Mrs. S. I must go, Miss Aubrey, I will let you know this eve¬ 
ning about the picnic. (exit l. 

Miss Aub. Well, Betty, I have told Mrs. Peck about my plans for 
the family picnic. 

Betty. Wliat did she say ? 

Miss Aub. She seemed to coincide with me, but was astonished 
when I told her about you and I being acquainted and having gone 
to school together. 

Betty. I presume she was. I was astonished myself when I saw 
you here; you know it is nearly live years since we last met, and 
many things have happened to me in that time, from a life of ease 
and comfort to that of a domestic. 

Miss Aub . I, too, Betty, have met with reverses. Providence has 
robbed us of our parents and wealth, but on the other hand, has 
been kind in bringing us together, I believe to console with each 
other. 

Betty. I think so too, but when I saw you the thoughts of the 
past made me very sad. 

3Iiss Aub. I felt the same way, Betty, but we must look on the 
bright side; so cheer up, this is no time for sadness, for you know 
we must attend to business, if we wish to have the picnic pass off 
successfully. 

Betty. You are right, Lillian, I will think no more of it, and will 
make haste to finish my sweeping so that we can arrange our plans 
this afternoon. ( noise outside—boys quarrelling) Here comes your 
pupils, Lillian, and from the noise they are making, I think you"will 
have a pleasant afternoon*, but I will come up again, Lillian. 

(exit l. 


Enter , Henry and Johnny, with Ah Sin. 

Henry. Miss Lillian, we’ve brought Ah Sin up; he wants to 
learn to read and write; you can give him a lesson, can’t you? 

Miss Aub. Certainly I can, Henry, but your father may object to 
it; you know I was only engaged to instruct you and Johnny. 

Johnny. He won’t say anything, ’cause Ah Sin is a good fellow 
and he wants to learn something. 

Miss Aub. Well, all right, but come, you boys must get your 
books and pay attention, and after you are through with your lessons 
I have got something I am going to tell you. ( they get books and 
give one to Ah. Sin — sit l. 2 e.) Now, when we closed our exercises 
yesterday, I had explained to you the meaning and difference be¬ 
tween a word refering to anything of the same nature only, different 
in size; for instance, a brooklet is a small brook, while a large brook 
would be termed a brook. Now you think you understand ? (they 
answer ) Well, now we’ll see. Henry, what is a rivulet ? 

Henry. A small river. 

3Iiss Aub . Johnny, what is a hillock? 

Johnny. A small hill. 

Miss Aub. Ah Sin, what is a bullock? 

Ah Sin. A smallee bull. 

„ , , sr (Henry and Johnny pitch into him—business 

Miss Aub. Now, Henry, let me see how fast you can count. 


TWO BAD BOYS. 


17 


Henry. (counts fast ) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, 
eight, nine, ten! 

Johnny. Ace, king, queen, jack! 

Ah sin. High, low, gamee! 

(same business—boys going for Ah Sin 

Miss Anb. Boys, you must not be so rough with poor Ah Sin; he 
don’t know any better. 

Johnny. Miss Lillian, we can’t study with that rat-eating wash¬ 
house in here. We’ll be awful good to-morrow, if you dismiss us 
now. 

Miss Aub. I don’t think you will have any school to-morrow. 
(Johnny and Henry dance and sing ) Here! you must be quiet and 
listen to me. Your parents are going to have a family picnic to¬ 
morrow, and there will be music and singing, and I want you boys 
to recite those verses which I taught you. 

Henry. All right, I’ll bet though that dad never got up the pic¬ 
nic! 

Johnny. You bet he didn’t! 

Ah Sin. Bet ten centee—me holdee stakee all samee! 

Miss Aub. Here, boys, you must not bet, that is not right. Now 
you and Johnny must promise me that you will recite to-morrow. 

Henry. Before we promise we want to ask a favor of you, and if 
you’ll do it, we’ll recite. , ■ 'v, oi if * 


Miss Aub. Well, what is it? 


dhmml 


oO 


l ooBncf 


Henry. You see, dad wants to join a secret order and we told 
him that we belonged to one and that we would get him in to-night, 
and we want you to help us. 

Johnny. Aes, you let us have this room to-night and be one of 
the members, and keep mum about it, and we’ll recite to-morrow. 

Miss Aub. No, no, I cannot promise to do that, because it is not 
right! ( business of coaxing and chasing Ah Sin) Well, if you prom¬ 

ise you are not going to hurt him, I’ll consent. 

Henry. No, we won’t hurt him! 

Miss Aub. Well, all right! If l : . i: ; ‘a xr- 

Jolinny. Say, John, you stay up here and we’ll fix you up and 
you be one of the members. Au mi: a jrj; i usu- 

Henry. I’ll go and get the others, and see if dad is going to join. 

ts, R. 

Ah Sin. Makee old man lide goatee? 

Johnny. Yes, we’ll have more fun than yoii could have at a 
funeral! 

Miss Aub. Johnny! you must not talk so! 

Ah Sin. Johnny muehee talk slangee, all samee. 

Miss Aub. You are right, Ah Sin, he does, and it’s a very bad 
habit. 

Johnny. Well, I’ll do anything for you, Miss Lillian, but we’ll 
have lots of fun! s sjn mot ■' o.j gn 

Enter, Betty, r. 

■. gid osool oj 

Betty. What’s going on, Lillian? Henry told me to come up 
here. , «o & 3 os ban 

Miss Aub. They have coaxed me to help them in some joke they 
are going to play on Mr. Peck, and I believe they want you, too. 

Johnny. Yes, Betty, we are going to put dad through our lodge, 
and we want you and Ah Sin to be members. 


18 


TWO BAD BOYS. 

Enter, Henry, r. 

Henry. Dad’s going to join. Now you folks go out, put on those 
clothes you find out there and come back and sit down. You’ll find 
Solomon out- there. (they exit, l. 

Henry and Johnny fix chairs, and when ready call all in—they are 
dressed in dominoes and masks, and sit r. and l. Rev. Baxter 
takes c. chair as “high-monkey-monk ” —Solomon, r., as “record¬ 
ing scr atelier.” 

Enter , Mr. Peck, r., blindfolded — the initiation as long or as short as 
audience is interested—one of the boys can do the bunting for 
goat—business ad. lib.—scene changes. 

END OF ACT II. 

ACT III. 

SCENE I. — Street—First grooves. 

Enter , Ah Sin, with washing , l. 1 e. 

Ah Sin. Chinaman have muchee fun, pull old man over chair, 
kickee, lide goatee, all samee. Chinaman no likee goatee, to muchee 
buttee! Go laundly now, heap washee, get licli all samee, you 
sabee! 

Enter , Solomon, r. 1 e. 

Sol. E-eh! I never laughed so much in all my life! Vhen der 
goat hit old Peck, I dhought the sucker vhas deat. Dot Henry Peck 
and Johnny Smith vas regular messa-ma-shin-as, e-e-h! (sees Ah 
Sin) Dhere’s der Chinaman! Say, vher you go ? 

Ah Sin . Go laundly—much washee! 

Sol. Lot’s of vashing! Say, I told you vhat; rny brodher has 
got a clothing store; he’ll sell you a suit of clothes like mine. 

Ah Sin. Me no likee clothes like you, no fitee; all samee Meliean 
man foolee Chinaman. Say, you go picnicee? 

Sol. Vhat! I pick niggars? Not for Joseph! 

Ah Sin. Picnicee, you sabee? Muchee fun, sing, all samee, Mr. 
Pleck. 

Sol. You mean der picnic; you bet yer life! 

Ah Sin. Me go too, heapee fun— me see you! go laundly now. 
Olla unawar dolla ! ( exit r. 1 e. 

Sol. I’m a liar, I don’d owe you a dollar—e-e-h! A fellow told 
me laast veek dhat der Chinaman looked enough like me to be my 
brodher. Talking about my brodher, dot reminds me of somedhing 
dot happened to his boy. He vas out sleigh-riidng und he run 
against a fence, and run a knot-hole in his eye, and dhey couldn’t 
get it out, so dhey sent for the doctor; he said dher boy vould have 
to loose his eye, because der man vanted der knot-hole back, but he 
says, I told you vhat—I put anodher eye in him. He did—he vhent 
und got a cat und cut his eye out, und put in der boy. I’m a son-of- 
a-gun! every night vhen der boy vas asleep, if dat eye didn’t stay 
vide open, looking for rats. I’d better go and fix up or I’ll be late 
for der picnic. I vouldn’t loose it for fordy cents. (exit, r. 1 e. 


TWO BAD BOYS. 


10 

SCENE II .— Wood—full stage—picnic scene—Any specialities intro¬ 
duced here, according to programme that may be arramged. 

Enter , l. 2 e., at opening , Rev. Baxter with Miss Aubrey and 
Betty—Johnny and Henry hand in hand next—then Mr. Peck 
and icife, to be followed by Solomon and Ah Sin, with baskets , 
etc.—eveiybody dressed up. 

Mr. P. Miss Aubrey, the entire programme for the picnic is to be 
superintended by you and Brother Baxter. 

Mr. Baxter. Not me, Brother Peck, I think Miss Aubrey should 
have full charge herself, as she has worked to get up this family 
gathering, and the honor should be placed on her. 

Miss Aub. I don’t think I have done any more than the others, 
but since you wish it, why I will accept. 

Mrs. P. Well, I think the best thing then is to commence at once. 

(exit, l. 2 e. 

Miss Aub. Very well! we will commence systematically and 
parrake of all the good things. 

All go up and assist—business of spreading table-cloth and then sit 

down ad. lib., placing plates, etc • 

Enter, Tramp and sits on stump. 

Sol. Here! Ve don’t vant any tramps here, yer sucker! Clear 
out! 

j Recitation of “The Tramp,” to be followed by burlesque recitation by 
Johnny — all other specialties according to programme , till Mr. 
Peck opens bottle of wine and fills glasses. 

Mr. Baxter. Here’s to our boys, both good and bad, also to young 
lasses. 

Mr. P. Let’s wish them good health by emptying our glasses. 
Betty. I second the motion—so let us all sup! 

Sol. And when they’re empty, why I’ll till them up. 

Miss Aub. Let’s drink of the wine, so sparkling and sweet! 
Johnny. Till we get the sidewalk mixed up with our feet. 

Ah Sin. And spend allee money and no standee treat. 

Henry. The beautiful wine is what colored dad’s nose. 

Mrs. P. And made the Rev. Baxter wear seedy clothes. 

Mr. P. Here, this is getting personal! Let us change the subject. 
We came here to enjoy ourselves and let us do so. 

Mrs. P. I am going to enjoy myself by singing a song. 

(business 

Mr. P. You can sing later. Miss Aubrey is going to oblige us. 

Song, to be followed by other specialties, until Mr. Peck’s speech—when 
the boys let a rope down from above, with a slip-noose, drop it over 
Mr. Peck, and pull him in the air. 


END of act hi. 


TWO BAD BOYS. 
ACT IV. 


80 


SCENE I. —c. d. chamber in fourth grooves , about same set as Scene 

1st, Act First . Betty discovered. 

Enter, Miss Aubrey, r., at rise of curtain. 

Miss Aub. Good morning, Betty. 

Betty. Good morning, Lillian. Was the picnic up to your expec¬ 
tations ? 

Miss Aub. It was, Betty; everything went off so smoothly that I 
have been •encouraged to undertake another affair, and I am going 
to confide it to you, and I want you to help me. 

Betty. All right, Lillian, I’ll do all I can. 

Miss Aub. What I propose now, is to get up home theatricals. I 
am sure there are enough of us, and besides, they are so beneficial 
to the mind. 

Betty. Just about the same as a broom is to my arm—keeps it 
active. 

Miss Aub. The idea exactly! Now you must promise to help 
me, Betty. 

Betty. Indeed I shall, for the fun which one derives from these 
parties is worth the trouble it takes to get them up. I speak, Lillian, 
from the way which I see you feel over it, for you have all the 
trouble. 

Miss Aub. But it is as you say, Betty, the reward which I receive 
by seeing everybody happy, pays for my trouble. I always think 
that the happiest moments of my life are when I can make those 
around me happy by my own efforts. 

Betty. You are the same good-hearted, unselfish girl, as when we 
went to school together. 

Miss Aub. And you too, Betty, have not changed any; but, not 
wishing to change the subject—don’t forget to aid me. I shall go up 
stairs now and have a talk with Mrs. Peck. I will let you know 
how I succeed. ( exit , e. 

Betty. Oh, what a girl! Always planning something for the 
happiness of others, regardless of her own trouble. Now let me see, 
how can I help her ? 1 have it! I will get the Reverend Mr. Bax¬ 
ter to use his powers of persuasion. I’ll attend to it at once. 

{exit R. 2 e. 

Enter , Henry and Johnny, r. and l. 1 e. 

Henry. Johnny, did you hear? 

Johnny. Can a duck swim ? 

Henry. Keno! 

Johnny. Say, Henry, can’t Ave take a hand in this affair? 

Henry. Cert! I tell you what—we’ll get Solomon to take a part, 
too. 

Johnny. And Ah Sin, too—you mustn’t forget him! 

Henry. We’ll have ’em all! {noise ouside) Here comes dad, 
we’ll talk to him about it. 

Enter, Mr. Peck, r., icith skates in bundle under his arm and lead¬ 
ing a dog—he is very drunk. 

Johnny. Oh, look at the dog! Here, Jack! here, Jack! 


TWO BAD BOYS. 


St 

Mr. P. Sliat’s Fido! shat’s good dog! 

Henry. He looks good! 

Air. P. He’s a line dog! 

Johnny. So line you can look through him. 

Mr. P. He’ll do anything I-hic-tell him! Here-hic-shump over! 

Johnny. He jumps nice. 

Mr. P. Ha, ha! he’s tired! 

Henry. You look kinder tired, dad. 

Mr. P. I am tired, Henry. I’sh 'been speaking to a large assem¬ 
blage of persons. I was called upon to speak to them on temperance, 
shat’s my best hold. 

Johnny . Yes, I should say you had a good grip on it now. 

Mr. P. I told ’em liquor was the root of all evil. 

Henry. But give you plenty of the root. 

Mr. P. I told ’em they must endeavor to put down liquor. I 
says, “Fellow citizens, I have lectured on Temperance for ten years 
and in all that time I have done my best to put down as much liquor 
as any man, and look at me now. 

Johnny. As drunk as a goose! 

Mr. P. If you want to be saved, you must reform* 

Henry. You can bet— you do, or you’ll see snakes! 

Mr. P. Liquor! liquor 1 what’ll bring a man down quicker than 
liquor? 

Johnny. A bannana skin on the sidewalk, if you only step on it! 

Mr. P. Say, boys what you think ? 

Johnny. I think you ought to go to bed. 

Henry. What have you got in the bundle? 

Mr. P. I have been learning to skate on roller skates, and I am 
going to learn you boys, so I have bought some skates. 

Henry, (aside) Say, Johnny, here’s a picnic forus! You can 
just bet the old man can’t stand on a pair of skates, let alone skate. 

Johnny, (aside) Let’s get him to put ’em on with us and have 
some fun. 

Henry. Say, dad, you put on your skates and we’ll put on ours, 
and you cen learn us. 

Mr. P. All right! here, put these on, both of you! 

Business ad. lib., till Rev. Baxter enters, c. d.— all try to hide — 

change scene. 

SCENE II.—Street in first grooves. 

«» 

Enter, Solomon, l. 1 e. 

Sol. I got an invitation to play dheatre at Mr. Peck’s house—der 
going to play Uncle Tom’s Cabin, and dhey vant me to play in it. 
Efer since Mr. Peck got married again dhere having great times. 
E-e-h! I’ll bet he vill go to drinking! I vouldn’t be a man of 
family for fordy cents, I’m a son-of-a-gun if I vould! 

Enter, Henry, l. 1 e. 

Henry. Ilallo, Solomon! do you know your part for the play 
yet? 


TWO BAD BOYS. 


H 

Sol. You bet yer life I do! Say, Henry, bishness has been bad, 
I told you vhat! You and your chum come down and eat some 
peanuts, so I can charge it up to your fadher. 

Henry. Oh, yes! I’ll come down and eat a quart of peanuts, and 
have you charge dad with a whole barrel full; excuse me! Come 
on, Solomon! 

Sol. Vher you go ? 

Henry. I’m going down after Ah Sin. You know he plays in the 
piece to-night, and I want to see how he’s getting along. {exit it. 
Sol. Yell, I go with you. I vant some clean collars. {exit, it. 

SCENE III.—Kitchen or plain chamber in fourth grooves—tables, 

chairs , etc. 

Enter, Mr. and Mrs. Peck, Betty, Miss Aubrey and Rev. Mr. 

Baxter, r. 1 e. 

Mrs. P. We are all here but the boys; if they were here we could 
commence. 

Miss Aub. Solomon and Ah Sin are not here yet. 

Mr. Baxter. I am afraid, Miss Aubrey, I shall make a blunder 
with my part. 

Mr. P. Mo more danger than there is with me. 

Miss Aub. Oh, I guess you will get along all right, and 1 know 
the boys will do splendidly. 

Enter, boys with Solomon and Ah Sin, l. —greet each other. 
Miss Aub. Now that we are all here, let us commence. You all 


know your characters. (boys answer 

Mr. P. For the last time, I think, Miss Aubrey, you had better 
read the cast again. 

Miss Aub. Very well! {reads paper 

Uncle Tom.Mr. Peck. 

Eva.Johnny. 

Topsy.Henry. 

Marks.Solomon. 

Gumption Cute.Ah Sin. 

Mr. St. Clair.Rev. Mr. Baxter. 

Mrs. St. Clair.Miss Aubrey. 

Aunt Ophelia.Betty. 

Now get yourselves ready and we’ll commence. {all exit , r. 


Johnny and Henry exit and dress up —Johnny puts on short s/cirts 
and big bib over it — Henry puts on a white garment, looking like a 

bag. 

Enter , Solomon, l. 

Sol. Hoster-kerzain! der son-of-a-gun! My name is Marks—I’m 
a liar. Some vone approaches—I’ll tackle ’em! 

Enter , Ah Sin, r* 

; • 

—E-e-h l fine day; how am I ? 

Ah Sin. Yelly fine—goodee! 










TWO BAD BOYS. 


0 $ 


Sol. Vhat’s yer name? 

Ah Sin. Namee Cutee—Gumptee Cutee muchee speculate all 
samee. 

Sol. You vant to speculate? I told you vhat! My name is Marks, 
I’m a liar! 

Ah Sin. Namee Markee! Me lookee for aunty; all samee, you 
helpee me findee, muchee likee you. 

Sol. I’ve struck a job. You come vit me, HI find yer aunty, if I 
can’t I’ll raise it and play alone. ( exeunt , r. 

Enter, Miss Aubrey, l., with note in her hand. ■ 

Miss Aub. What can possibly detain St.Clair? According to 
this note, he should have been here a fornight ago—I do believe he 
has come at last! 

Johnny runs on—followed by Rev. Baxter, Mr. Peck and Betty. 

Johnny. Oh, mamma! 

Miss Aub. Go away, Eva, you make me tired! 

Mr, Baxter. My dear, we have arrived at last. This is my cousin, 
Miss Ophelia. 

Miss Aub. Delighted to see you! How do you like our city? 

Betty. Pretty place, but looks kinder heathenish to me. 

Johnny. You’re off your base, it’s just scrumptous! 

Mr. Baxter. See here, my dear, I have also brought you a coach¬ 
man at last, warranted kind and sober. Now don’t say I never 
think of you when I’m gone. 

Miss Aub. I know he’ll get drunk ! 

Johnny. No, mamma! We won’t get drunk, will we? 

Mr. P. Hoop de dooden do! deed and double, hope I may never 
see the back of my neck in a cross eye-eyed looking-glass, if we do. 

Miss Aub. Well, I hope he’ll turn out as you anticipate. 

Mr. Baxter. His name is Tom. 

Johnny. Uncle Tom, papa—Uncle Tom every time. Come with 
me, Uncle Tom, and we’ll play marbles in the back yard. 

{exit, Johnny and Mr. Peck, r. 

Miss Aub. I am too weak to join you in your walks, so I’ll retire 
till dinner time. ( exit l. 

Betty. How shiftless! {exeunt l. 

Enter, Henry, r. 

Henry. My name is Topsy, and I’m a ring-tailed rip-snorter. I 
was bought by a white man, to wait on his cousin, but l have had a 
peek at the cousin, and I pass—none for me. Everybody says I’m 
so wicked, but I don’t care a cent as long as I get three square meals 
a day. 

Enter, Solomon and An Sin, l. 

Sol. Look, vhat is it? 

Ah Sin. Monkey—all samee, me catchee, speculatee, makee heap 
money. You get a lope and putee in cage, all samee. 

Ah Sin gets rope—chases Henry —throws rope around Him and leads 

him off , l. 


S4 TWO BAD BOYS. 

Enter, Eva, Uncle Tom and St. Clair, r. 

Mr. Baxter. Now tell me where you’ve been ? 

Johnny. I’ve been with Uncle Tom. He’s been singing for me. 
He sung the “Star Splattered Spangle,” and “When Johnny Comes 
Marching Home,” and then we played Euchre. 

Mr. Baxter. Did you do all this, Tom? 

Mr. P. Yes, massa. and I’ve promised to learn her to play penny- 
ante. 

Mr. Baxter. Give me your hand, Tom, you’re a brick! 

Johnny. Now, papa, I think I had too many apples to-day and I 
don’t feel well. 

Mr. Baxter. What’s the matter, child? 

Johnny. I am afraid I’m going to die. 

Mr. Baxter To die? why what ails you? 

Mr. P. I’m afraid, massa, she’s got the spinal mengitis on the 
thorax, and every minute is liable to be her next. 

Johnny. Papa, when I’m gone, I want you to set Uncle Tom free, 
so he can vote at election, because many a dollar is made on that 
day. 

Mr. Baxter. Yes, yes, child, I’ll promise! but don’t talk of dy¬ 
ing, it breaks my heart, oh! oh! ( business of crying 

Johnny. Papa, I think I am dying—catch me! 

(falls in fit — Peck catches her — Baxter calls police 

Enter , Miss Aubrey and Betty, r, 

Betty. What is the matter ? 

Mr. Baxter. Eva is dying! 

Miss Au\). What, dying ? Oh, Eva, darling! 

Johnny raises up and says “Papa!” “Mamma!”—then gives one kick 

and lays back—everybody crying. 

Mr. P. It’s all over, massa, she’s closed her shutters for good! 

Mr. Baxter. Let us carry her into the next room. 

Business of carrying Johnny off—others follow— Johnny gets ready 

for tableau. 

Enter, Ah Sin and Solomon, l. 

Sol. For vhat you let der monkey go ? 

Ah Sin. All samee, loosee monkey; to much fightee, scratchee 
no likee. Go catchee old monkey* makee speculate, all samee! 5 

(exit l. 

Enter, Betty and Miss Aubrey, r. 

Betty. Poor child! I always said that she was too smart for this 
fearth. 

Miss Aub. She was so good, too. 

Enter\ Henry, l. 

Betty . Goodness, look at that creature! 


TWO BAD BOYS. 


25 


Hennj. My name is Topsy. I was bought to wait on you* 

Betty. To wait on me! 

Enter , Me. Peck, r. 

Mr. P. Yes, missey, massa bought her to be your servant. She 
belongs to the same church as I do. 

Miss Aub. Do you go to church? 

Henry. Yes’m, where it says, ‘push’ on one side and ‘pull’ on 
the other. 

Miss Aub. Hark! what sound is that? 

Mr. P. The darkies have gathered together in the fields and are 
singing for poor Eva. 

Song—scene goes up — Johnny climbs ladder — Rev. Baxter comes on 

with pan of red fire—all on. 


CURTAIH. 

} 


I 


PUN! 


FUN!! 


FUN!!! 


THE FUNNIEST COMEDY YET—JUST PUBLISHED , 

ENTITLED 



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The Old Maid’s Triumph. 

Four Acts—Four Male, Five Female Characters. 

-. — 

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Act I.—Home of the Windchester’s—Frank Westfield—Arrival 
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“Mother Goose’s Melodies”—Susan’s experience in the stage coach. 
“Only twenty-four, brother.”—Christopher Columbus! where am I 
going?”—“I see you, Frankie.”—Susan’s opinion of Jane.—Polly— 
Amusing love scene between Susan and Frank Westfield—his aston¬ 
ishment and terror, as she faints in his arms.—Tableau. 

Act II.—Susan’s explanation.—“Slang Debolishers Union”_ 

“You’d better begin at home!”—A widower—“Good land! if I 
could not get something better than a widower, I wouldn’t feel fit to 
soar to the land of milk and honey!”—Sam Sly, Polly’s lover, who 
is a widower.—“If he does not propose, / will!”—Susan and Sam 
Sly.—Love scene between Polly and Sly, which Susan discovers. 
Her anger, and fall.—Susan and Sly loose their wigs. 

Act III.—Joshua Pratt.—Susan’s fear of men.—“Help! help!” 
Discovers Joshua—Ridiculous love scene between Susan and Joshua. 
“There’s nothing half so sweet in life, as love’s young dream.”-Rats. 
“Help! thieves!”—“It might run up my leg!”—'The rescue— 
Susan announces her engagement and determination to go home and 
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Act IY.—Home of Susan Tabitha—Sallie—Discovery of Joshua’s 
poverty—Susan’s anger and disappointment—“Can we get up?”-Susan 
cuffs Joshua’s ears—Dinner—“Can we eat dinner?”—Susan relates 
her experience to Sallie—Telegram—Arrival and cool reception of 
Charles Westfield and wife—Joshua sleeps—Susan knocks over his 
chair, pulls his hair—A bank check—Susan’s promise.—Hamw 
ending. ' 






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SPY DP ATLANTA 


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PRICE 25 CENTS PER COPY. 


■ 


HAL HAZARD; OR, THE FEDERAL SPY. 

A MILITARY DRAMA OF THE LATE WAR OF THE REBELLION, 

IN FOUR ACTS. 

BY ERED. G. ANDREWS. 


This drama is a great success, and is published now for the first time, from the 
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Those who order and produce this play will be more than pleased.—Price 25c. 


An entirely original Allegorical Drama of the civil war in 

the United States, entitled, 

THE DUTCH RECRUIT; 

OR, 

THE BLUE AND GBEY. 

BY J. T. VIEGABD. 


All rights to this popular drama have been purchased of it’s auther, and it is nov? 
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Hints to Amateurs, 


BY A. D. AMES. 


A book of useful information for Amateurs and others, written ex« 
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who wish to make their efforts successful—containing 

much information never before given. Mr. Ames 
has had many years experience, and in 

this work gives many hints which 
cannot fail to be of great 
benefit to all. 


Do you wish to know How to act ? v 

Do you wish to know How to make up ? 

Do you wish to know How to make fuses ? 

Do you wish to know How to be prompted ? 

Do you wish to know How to imitate clouds? 

Do you wish to know How to imitate waves? 
Do you wish to know How to make thunder ? 

Do you wish to know How to produce snow ? 

Do you wish to know How to articulate ? 

Do you wish to know How to make lightning? 

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Do you wish to know How to be successful on the stage? 

Do you wish to know The effects of the drama on the mind? 
Do you wish to know How to assign parts successfully ? 

Do you wish to know The duties of the property man ? 

Do you wish to know How ot arrange music for plays? 

Do you wish to know Many hints about the stage? 

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Do you wish to know The duty of the prompter? 

Do you wish to know How to conduct rehearsals ? 

Do you wish to know The best method for studying? 

Do you wish to know How to make a stage laugh? 

Do you wish to know How to burn a colored fire? 
Do you wish to know How to make a rain storm? 

Do you wish to know A short history of the drama? 

Do you wish to know All about scene painting? 

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IT WILL DRAW AS WELL AS UNCLE TOM'S CABIN—A 
DRAMA OF THE SOUTH. JUST FUBLISHED. 



MILLIE, the QUADROON; 


—OR, — 

OUT OF BOND AGE ._ 

A DRAMA IN FIVE ACTS , BY LIZZIE MAY ELWYN, 
AUTHOR OF DOT; THE MINER'S DAUGHTER. 

ORDER A COPY-ONLY 15 CENTS. 

ACT I— Scene 1st.—Home of Fred Grover—Priscilla, Fred’s 
old maid sister—Fred’s return from the South—His present to Pris¬ 
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slavery—Gyp’s happiness—Song and dance. 

ACT II.— Scene 1st.—News of cousin Charlie, an old lover of 
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her horror of being kissed by “a man”—Millie vindicates herself by 
revealing the secret of her life to Charlie, which is heard by Daville 
—Gyp—Meeting of Millie and Daville—Daville reveals Millie’s se¬ 
cret to Isadore, his betrothed—Comic scene between Gyp and Siah. 

ACT III.— Scene 1st.—Evil designs of Daville and Isadore— 
Millie, the child of old Harriet, the slave—Meeting of Isadore and 
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der by pushing her over the cliff; she is rescued by Daville—Isadore 
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anguish and final blow—“No wife, aslave!”—Quarrel of Daville and 
Charlie—Isadore’s search for the body of old Harriet. Scene 2d. — 
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SEVEN YEARS. 

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ACT V.— Scene 1st.—Southern Plantation—Priscilla discovers 
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Daville threatens Isadore with slavery—Attempted murder of Pris¬ 
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tempted capture—Rescued by Charlie—Old Harriet clears the mys¬ 
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death”— Arrest of Daville—Death of Charlie—Reconciliation of Fred 
and Millie, who is freed from bondage. 








NEW PLAYS 

PRICE 15 CERTS EACH. 

Here’s an afterpiece that will catch ’em! Just out— 

entitled, 

That Awful Carpet-Bag. 

An original farce, in three scenes, three male and three 

female characters. 


This is an ethiopian farce with an immense nigger—be 

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entitled, 

THE BEST CURE. 

A darkey servant has an imaginary illness, and the 
way he is cured will keep the aundience in 
an uproar for thirty minutes. 

A Domestic Drama with a good moral—entitled, 

GERTIE’S VINDICATION. 

In two acts. Three male and three female characters. 

JACK, THE HE GEO, IS IMMENSE! 

KATY , THE IEISH GIRL , A GOOD CHARACTER! 

Order a copy—It will play 11-2 hours, and with an after- 
piece will make an enjoyable evening’s 
entertainment for an audience. 


This sketch is a stunner! Funny? Don’t mention it! 
It will make an audience laugh more and' 
harder than any sketch written in 
years—entitled, 

MIDNIGHT COLIC. 

A LAUGHABLE SKETCH. 

A BED-ROOM SCENE! MUSTARD HAS TAKEN A RISE! 

i( WHERE IS THE FbOURr* 





Jlmes’ Plays —CnntinuEil. 


NO. 

FARCES CONTINUED. 

u 

F 

65 

An Unwelcome Return. 

3 

1 

31 

A Pet of the Public. 

4 

2 

21 

A Romantic Attachment...... 

3 

3 

123 

A Thrilling Item. 

3 

1 

20 

A Ticket of Leave.. 

3 

2 

175 

Betsey Baker.. 

2 

2 

8 

Better Half. 

5 

2 

86 

Black vs. White... 

4 

2 

22 

Captain Smith.. 

3 

3 

84 

Cheek Will Win. 

3 

0 

225 

Cupiu's Capers. 

4 

4 

49 

Der Two Surprises. 

1 

1 

72 

Deuce is in Him... 

5 

1 

19 

Did 1 Dream it. 

4 

3 

42 

Domesric Felicity. 

1 

1 

188 

Dutch Prize Fighter. 

3 

0 

220 

Dutehyvs. Nigger. 

3 

0 

148 

Eh? W at Did You Say. 

3 

1 

218 

Everybody Astonished.. 

4 

0 

224 

Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 

1 

233 

Freezing a Mother-in-Law... 

2 

1 

154 

Fun in a Post Office.... 

4 

2 

184 

Family Discipline. 

0 

1 

209 

Goose with the Golden Eggs.. 

5 

3 

13 

Give Me My Wife. 

3 

3 

66 

Hans, the Dutch J. P. 

3 

1 

116 

Hash. 

4 

2 

120 

H. M. S. Plum. 

1 

1 

103 

How Sister Paxey got her 




Child Baptiz d. 

2 

1 

50 

How She has Own Way. 

1 

3 

140 

How He Popped the Quest’n. 1 

1 

74 

How tc Tame M-in-Law. 

4 

2 

35 

How Stout If our Getting. 

5 

2 

47 

In the Wrong Box. 

3 

0 

95 

In the Wrong Clothes. 

5 

3 

11 

John Smith. 

5 

3 

99 

Jumbo Jum. 

4 

3 

82 

Killing Tune. 

1 

1 

182 

Kittie’s Wedding Cake....-. 

1 

3 

127 

Lick Skillet Wedding. 

2 

2 

228 

Lauderbach’s Little Surprise 3 

0 

106 

Lodgings for Two. 

3 

0 

139 

Matrimonial Bliss. 

1 

1 

231 

Match fora Mother-in-Law.. 

2 

2 

235 

More Blunders than one. 

4 

3 

69 

Mother’s Fool. 

6 

1 

1 

Mr. and Mrs. Pringle. 

7 

4 

158 

Mr. Hudson’s Tiger Hunt. 

1 

1 

23 

My Heart’s in Highlands. 

4 

3 

208 

5 y Prec'ous Betsey. 

4 

4 

212 

My Turn Next. 

4 

3 

32 

M Wife’s Relations. 

4 

4 

186 

My Day and Now-a-Days. 

0 

1 

44 

Obedience. 

1 

2 

244 

O'd Clothes. 

o 

0 

33 

On the Sly. 

3 

2 

246 


4 

1 

57 

Paddy Miles’ Boy... 

5 

2 

217 

Paten* Washing Machine. 

4 

1 

165 

Persecuted Dutchman. 

6 

3 

195 

Poor Pilicody.•••■• 

2 

3 

258 

Prof.Bones’Latest Invention 5 

0 


NO. 


If 

F. 

159 

Quiet Family. 

4 

4 

171 

Rouirh Diamond. 

4 

3 

180 

Ripples... 

, 2 

0 

48 

Sch aps... 

1 

1 

138 

Sewing Circle of P riod. 

0 

5 

115 

S. H. A. M. Pinafore. 

3 

3 

55 

Somebody’s Nobody. 

3 

2 

241 

Sports on a Lark.... 

3 

0 

232 

Stage Struck Yankte. 

4 

2 

238 

Strawberry Shortcake. 

2 

0 

137 

Taking the Census. 

1 

1 

40 

Th t Mysterious B’dle. 

2 

2 

245 

Ticket Taker. 

3 

0 

38 

Toe Bewitched Closet. 

5 

2 

131 

The Cigarette. 

4 

2 

101 

The Coming Man. 

3 

1 

167 

Turn Him Out. 

3 

2 

68 

The Sham Prof ssor.„. 

4 

0 

54 

The Two T. J’s.... 

4 

2 

253 

The Best Cure. 

4 

1 

28 

Thirty-three Next Birthday.. 

4 

2 

142 

Tit for Tat. 

2 

1 

213 

Vermont Wool Dealer. 

5 

3 

151 

Wanted a Husband. 

2 

1 

5 

When Women Weep. 

3 

2 

56 

Wooing Under Difficultie ..... 

5 

3 

70 

Which will he Marry.. 

2 

8 

135 

Widower’s Trials.. 

4 

5 

147 

Waking Him Up. 

1 

2 

155 

Why they Joined the Re¬ 
beccas.. 

0 

4 

111 

Yankee Duelist. 

3 

1 

157 

Ya: kee Peddler. 

7 

3 

204 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 

Academy of Stars. 

6 

0 

15 

An Unhappy Pair. 

1 

1 

172 

Black Shoemaker. 

4 

2 

98 

Black Statue. 

4 

2 

222 

Colored Senators. 

3 

0 

2L4 

Chops. 

Cuff’s Luck. 

3 

0 

145 

2 

1 

190 

Crimps Tr p. 

5 

0 

249 

Double Electi n. 

9 

1 

27 

Fetter Lane to Gravesend. 

2 

0 

230 

Hamlet the Dainty. 

6 

1 

153 

Haunted House. 

2 

0 

24 

Handy Andy. 

2 

0 

236 

Hypochondriac The . 

2 

0 

247 

Incompatibility of Temper... 

1 

2 

77 

Joe’s Vis t. 

2 

1 

88 

M ischievous Nigger. 

4 

2 

256 

Midnight Colic. 

2 

1 

128 

Musical Darkey. 

2 

0 

259 

Nobody’s Moke... 

5 

2 

90 

No Cure No Pay. 

3 

1 

61 

Not as Deaf as He Seems. 

3 

0 

234 

Old Dad’s Cabin. 

2 

1 

150 

Old Pompey. 

1 

1 

109 

Other People’s Children. 

Pomp’s Pranks. 

3 

2 

134 

2 

0 

177 

Quarrel orne Servants. 

3 

0 

96 

Rooms to Let. 

2 

1 

107 

School.... 

5 

0 




























































































































B*- 

Zimes ? Plays— 


LIBRARY OF CONGRE5 


III 

| 

| 

1 

1 

0 017 

198 

56e 

2 


dontinuEa. 


NO. M. F. 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES—CONT’UED. 

133 Seeing Busting. 3 0 

179 Sham Doctor. 3 3 

94 16,000 Years Ago... .3 0 

25 Sport with a Sportsman. 2 0 

92 Stage Struck Darkey. 2 1 

241 Struck by Lightning. 2 2 

10 Stocks Up, Stocks Down. 2 0 

64 That Boy Sam. 3 1 

252 That Awful Carpet Bag. 3 3 

122 The Select School. 5 0 

118 The Popcorn Man.. 3 1 

6 The Studio.3 0 

108 Those Awful Boys. 5 0 

4 Twain’s Dodging.3 1 

197 Tricks. 5 2 

198 Uncle Jetf. 5 2 

170 U. S. Mail. 2 2 

216 Vice Versa. 3 1 


NO. 


M. 

F. 

206 

Villkens and Dinah. 

. 4 

1 

210 

Virginia Muramv.. 

. 6 

1 

203 

Who Stole the Chickens... 

. 1 

1 

205 

William Tell. 

.... 4 

0 

156 

Wig-Maker and His Servants 3 

0 


GUIDE BOOKS. 



17 

Hints on Elocution. 



130 

Hints to Amateurs.. 




CANTATA. 



215 

On to Vicory. 

.... 4 

6 


TABLEAUX. 



250 

Festival of Davs.. 




PANTO IME. 



260 

Cousin John’s Album. 




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